Disclosure: This is a "churchy", emotional, spiritual post.
I was in a quiet private place in my house the other day when I pulled out the Ensign. It just so happened to be the April 2009 issue. The page was turned to Elder Uchtdorf's, Sunday morning talk, "The Way of the Disciple". He is a great speaker and I love his talks, so I started reading it. Later on in the week I pulled out the same Ensign to thumb through it again, There was a paragraph that stuck out to me in that same talk.
"Let us remember..... that the restored gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has the power to fill any emptiness, heal any wound, and bridge any vale of sorrow. It is the way of hope, faith, and trust in the Lord".
I have felt empty and alone lately. No specific reason why, but I have. Reading that talk helped me remember how to fill that void. I hate feeling like I am not doing what I know I should be doing. Its hard to do everything we have to do in a day and then go beyond and serve others, especially when we feel alone and empty ourselves!
I am certainly not alone! And I know I am not "empty"... I have a growing acrobat inside me!!! :) Yet, the feelings of emptiness are still there. Like something is missing. The problem always starts with me. I am the only that can fix that empty, alone feeling. Nobody else can do it for me.
Perhaps I am over analyzing my life right now, my every move or the things that I don't feel I am doing just right. The feelings of inadequacy.... However, there is only one way to fill that void... and I know what it is!
The picture really has nothing to do with my feelings. But, I am surrounded by people that I love and they love me! Dave is always home and ready to hear my complaints, worries and annoyances. The kids are always there to remind me of this precious role of mother that I get to play. I am certainly not alone, I am surrounded by love, running noses, toys every where, laundry, smiles, slobbery kisses, tiny pats on my back and sweet voices calling me "mom", and a supportive husband who constantly encourages me to do what I love to do and puts up with my crappy pregnant cooking :)
6 comments:
I'm sure your pregnant cooking is just fine LOL
Love you.
I understand how you feel. Man, and I really thought that everyone of our DI sessions has been therapeutic. I guess I was wrong!! :) I need to get to the temple, want to come?
I love you. You couldn't be a crappy cook if you tried. If you ever need anyone, I am always here for you. Disclaimer: I don't have it all together, so it will have to be something lunchy and fun. No advice, I am a plastic platter throwing freak of a wife and mother who sobs at the pediatricians office. I do love that picture of Mylo though. Super cool.
I think we all feel that way sometimes. I wish I could fix it for you.
You looked BEAUTIFUL at conference today...and I should have taken the chance to tell you that and given you a hug. (even though I'm not a huggy person) All us moms need a hug now and again to remember we are not alone...even though it completely FEELS like it the majority of the time.
Such a crazy thing to be surrounded by our little ones all day, and husbands, and friends...spending so much time being right there physically helping them...yet still feeling alone. I understand.
Hang in here. You're doing a great job being a "Lioness" for your sweet fam!
It seems like all of our alone mother bubbles would collide into each other once in a while and burst. How is it that it doesn't happen as much as we want?
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