Today as we were driving back to our temp-home, we drove by our old house. The one were we brought three of our four children to from the hospital. The one were Leah was beyond thrilled to run around in when we first moved in. The one were we had so many fun memories. The one were we had neighbors who greeted us as we were leaving or coming home. The one were we worked hard to put in that vinyl fence. The one with the ugly car port and un-appealing front....
We miss that old house!
But, when we were driving past it, Mylo yelled out and reached for it in a very dramatic way, "OLD HOUSE! HIIII!!!" We laughed, as it was very un-like Mylo to be that expressive. Then he said, "What? Leah does that all the time."
I told him it was just cute and that I missed that old house too! Tears filled my eyes as I reminisced the good times we had there. I miss so many things about that first house. I never thought I would feel like this. I think my feelings come from the fact that we have rocked the kids world. So many changes!!!
I have always LOVED change. I grew up with TONS of change. I loved the excitment that would come with change. It was a way to "run away" from things that bother me. Change was fun! Change meant new friends, new experiences, new cultures, new unknowns. However, now, as a mother, its not all fun and games. The kids need their stability. I dont think change was detrimental to me, rather I think it made me who I am today. I like that person.
But the look on Mylo's face today as he reached for the house, dramatically (not really missing it, rather just saying HI to an "old friend"), really made me think. The thoughts lead to questions. Questions like, did we do the right thing for our family? Is this what God wants for and from us? What are we to learn from this experience? ....
I know that God provided everything for us in the exact time and place. Things could not have happened any better! I know that we are supposed to do what we are doing. I guess I never realized it would be this hard.
The house update: We are still waiting on permits and have had some excavation/foundation issues that needed to be address. So, with help from our friend/architect we have been able to solve those issues. Again, we feel blessed with what has happened and we know that we will get the house/space/yard we need and want... its just going to take longer than we expected. This just adding to my doubts and fears (mostly for the kids sake).
I hope my kids look back at this experience in their lives and laugh and have great memories from it. They have not complained and have learned to deal with new things. I am proud of them. I am grateful for Mylo's dramatic greeting to our Old House (friend).
