I have been thinking about this question for a while now. Several lessons have made me stop and ponder for days as to were my life is headed and if what I am doing is the right thing to do. I go through spurts where I read my scriptures constantly and feel the love of my Father in Heaven. My life seems to go so much smoother as I have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost so close. I find myself being more patient with the kids, I feel as though I have more energy to do my every day tasks, I feel I can ask for anything from Heavenly Father and that if I have any struggle what so ever during the day that I am able to work through it so much better. But as my life gets busy or the daily routine gets a kink in it for one reason or another I slowly drift away from the everyday scripture study or constant prayer in my heart. My prayers seem to lack the necessary faith or they just don't seem to be as meaningful. Am I just doing it to do it? Or am I really trying to communicate with my Father in Heaven? I want to, so badly, live a good, "righteous", life but I find my self struggling to do that at times because the natural man in me doesn't allow me to do that. Well, as I sat in class today thinking or trying to apply what was being taught in the lesson into my life, I realized that even as we struggle we KNOW what is right and wrong. As a young woman I made a decision to marry in the temple to a righteous returned missionary, I made the decision to have a clean body and follow the word of wisdom, I made the decision to always go to church and I HAVE done all of those things. That is not to say that I don't struggle to always have good thoughts, or use good language, or even participate in things that are just not very uplifting... mmmm, like talking bad about people. I have struggled with that a lot. I need to "stop" and re-evaluate my life. I need to better my spiritual life so that I can achieve my goal of returning to live with my Father in Heaven along with my little family. I need to be good for them not just me. As a mother I need to be an example to my children. I know that if I live my life in the way that I know is right, then I will be blessed. I have seen the blessings in my life very clearly and I recognize them... I feel like my life is at a stand still when it should be moving in an upward direction. I hope that as I have really taken the time to think about this I can make changes were changes need to be made. I am grateful for the inspired people that the Lord has put in my life to help me realize or remind me of my purpose here on earth, which is to be tested and hopefully and eventually be made perfect. I have a VERY LONG way to go, but I am trying.
4 comments:
Ah Laura! You are amazing! And, many of the emotions and daily rollercoaster challenges you explained are what I, also, constantly fight against. I am certain that as the young women sit there each Sunday and "listen" they don't realize that we, as leaders, are learning as much, or maybe more, from what is being said. Who knew that the same lessons we heard from the same manuals YEARS ago would still apply to the things we struggle with now as we try to be a good wife, mom, and PERSON?
Today's lesson (and last night's broadcast) certainly got me thinking, too, about what my priorities are and what things I know I should be doing to be find more peace and light. I just need to do them.
p.s. Ashley, as you read this, (which I think you will...) great inspiration on who the girls AND leaders needed to hear from!
Fortunatly for you, these are the same things that every woman I know struggles with on a regular basis! We have good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. It's nice to be able to go to meetings, classes, or conferences that, in a sense, re-charge our batteries while providing an opportunity for self reflection and evaluation. It sounds like you are doing great! We really need to get together sometime!
Thanks Laura. I love you.
I know that things aren't always as they seem, but to me, you seem like you are doing everything our Heavenly Father wants you to be doing. We all face hills and valleys, sometimes our testimonies are up and sometimes they are down, but we are blessed with the comfort of knowing that there is always someone there to help us when we are down. You are amazing, and the important thing is that you desire so much to do what Heavenly Father wants. I really admire that about you. You are amazing, copy this down and read it again when you are feeling down. You are Amazing!!!
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