Patience is not something I was "given" when they were giving out all those great qualities.
I have always struggled with being patient. I am not good at being patient for anything! When I want to do something, I want it done now, not in five minutes or in the next few days. When I want a haircut, I want to get it done no later than tomorrow. I just don't like to wait. When we were ready for another baby, I didn't want it to take longer than a month. When I finally was pregnant, I could hardly wait to have that baby in my arms. When that baby was finally in my arms, I couldn't wait for the next thing. When I want to loose weight, I want to loose it overnight. When we started the building process I wanted it started, RIGHT AWAY. We have yet to dig a whole! When I want the kids to do something, like brush their teeth, make their beds, get changed for school, I want to ask them one time, not twenty. I know things take time. We all have to learn to listen, and be patient.
Today, I have thought about my INpatience. I truly dislike this about me. Its a daily struggle to be patient with Dave or the kids or the random lady, who SUCKS AT DRIVING! But, what was hardest for me today, was not being patient with the ones I love most.
Why do I hurt those I love most? Why do I take out my bad attitude out on them? Why must I have such little patience with them?
I ask myself these questions on a nightly basis. I know they are trying to please me. I know they know what they need to do, and they will do it. But, they will do it on their time, not mine. Then, I get upset and its unnecessary.
I feel bad about my actions. I feel bad about how I treated them for something as silly and trivial as pulling off their blankets from the bed to make a "fort." Who cares, Lau? At least they're playing, together.
I once heard someone say something like, God let us borrow these angles (children) until he is ready to have them back. If I borrow a pan, a stroller, a paint brush or anything else, I take care of it as if it were made of a delicate material. However, I don't always do that with the angels that have been entrusted to me. Those that God has let me borrow.
I want my kids (and husband) to know that I love them. Not because I tell them daily or show them with hugs and kisses. I want them to know I love them because I show them with my actions and my soft, kind words. I want to show them my love with words of encouragement and a smile of complete amazement of their achievements.
Patience = Love
I certainly don't feel like I deserve the angels that have been given to me. I don't deserve the life that I have been given. I must not take them for granted. I, most certainly, need to work on my patience towards them, first, before others. I love them! I know that they love me. How I am so blessed, I will never understand it. But I know that I need them in order to be a better me.
Leah, Mylo, Milli and Otis, if you get anything from this, know that I love you, even when I am not always patient with you!
OOOO's and XXXX's
