Wednesday, November 3, 2010

the day to day....

Ever since Sunday I have had a hard time.  We had a great lesson that really made me think and reevaluate who and how I am as mother/daughter/friend/person.

Today I am on the verge of tears and I really don't even feel like talking to anybody or do anything!

It makes me even more upset to feel this way because it really just makes things worse!  Nobody has done anything to me to make me feel this way.  I really just feel lonely, if that is even possible in a house with four kids.

I hate feeling this way!  I question my every thought, word and action.  "Is this right?" "Should I apologize for this or that?" "Should I forget about the house and just do what I want/need?" "What am I doing wrong?"

I am overwhelmed with my responsibility as a mother right now. SO overwhelmed!!!! 

8 comments:

Melissa said...

Sorry Lau.
But I think as mothers we can all relate.
You're a good person and a good mother, just take one day at a time and realize that it's the best you could do with what you're going through.
Don't be hard on yourself, or try not too.
I just 'attempted' to do errands with my three kids today......... I had to tell the kids not to talk to me or I was gonna loose it, then Takeshi screamed the whole way home, turns out he had poop and was tired.
I wish someone would put me down for a nap and tidy the house while I was in dream world.
It's the toughest job I've done with very little 'outward' rewards.
I'm all about 'outward' rewards LOL
There lies my problem right?
Reading my scriputres, lately has helped.
You're phone call to me the other day helped.
Let me know if you wanna skype, even though you said you don't wanna talk to anyone ;)
A lotta love and big hugs coming your way girl.
Hang in there.

Maricela said...

I am sorry about your rough time right now. I hate days like these. Hang in there. We can only do so much before our body and mind says, ok that is enough!! Wanna go run or use the elliptical at the RC tonight? Call me if you do.

Tris said...

being a mother is the hardest thing in the world. i totally know how you feel on this one. the lesson on sunday really affected me, too. all i can say is you are absolutely not alone. and i love you :)

Wendy said...

Don't be too hard on yourself...you really are a great person. Even thought we are far away from each other...you are the best friend I have...I mean that. Do you have a favorite church or primary song...sing it to your self or with the kids. Church songs to me many times feel like the best prayers. They can bring such a warm comfort. Love you!!! (((hugs))) and kisses.

Sarah said...

There are several times in EVERY day that I feel alone...crazy when the house is FULL of LOUD babes. There are many days I CRAVE adult conversation...but REALLY don't want to talk to anyone, let alone get out of jamma bottoms. There are many Sundays (every Sunday, lately, if I'm being honest) that I wish I could sit in on the great lessons that make you think...but maybe being there this week would have made things even harder this week.

I too am overwhelmed as a mom. Hopefully you have some comfort knowing that us others feel as you do.

You are doing great things. Your kids are lucky to have you. It is good to question thoughts/actions...but don't be too hard on yourself. You're TRYING. Trying is worth major points.

Yorgasons said...

All we can do is take one day at a time! You are wonderful and I know you are doing your best! OVERWHELMED is my constant companion! Tomorrow will be better I promise!!

Carrie said...

I just want to say "Ditto" to Sarah's comment. I feel lonely almost every day... but don't have the energy or the will power to do anything about it. I crave adult conversation... thus... facebook and blogs. :)

I too think you're doing an amazing job as a mom. I'm sorry you were having a bad day. I think you're pretty impressive and I look up to you.

Talbot Family said...

Amazing women and woman. You can't feel like a crappy mom when you are awesome and don't even feed your kids cheetoh's and funions for their meals. Seriously, amazing mom/friend/daughter. I too have been there feeling crappy and questioning if I am a worthy daughter of God? But it is like you said, you are doing the best you can. I am truly doing the best I can and even when others don't accept my best, the Lord does. So I am okay. Plus, church is supposed to make us feel good about ourselves not crappy right?

xoxo